This is a repost of something i shared in 2015.  I hope it encourages all who are going through trying times right now.  It seems so long ago, but God's words are true, He is a keeping God and His healing is forever.  I'm still standing!




I Believe!


One year ago the devil declared war on me.  It was in July 2015, I found a lump, and then had a mammogram, and got the horrible news—it was cancer. They proceeded to do a biopsy, and then in September I had surgery.  War was declared in July, but the battles started in September. This was not a battle fought with guns and bullets, but scalpels and radiation.


The enemy declared war on my body, and like it or not I had to fight, or die.  Outwardly it seemed like I had it all together –“I’m trusting in the Lord” was my mantra. Inwardly I was a craven coward imagining all kinds of morbid scenarios ahead.


My pray life felt null and void, powerless and futile.  Fortunately I had many wonderful prayers standing in for me; supplying air cover, and ground forces.  Sometimes they had to pick me up and drag me through the shock and awe to the finish.  I praise God for their faithfulness.  Their prayers were shafts of light surrounding me so that I would not be swallowed up in the total darkness that seemed determined to overtake me. 


Aside from the obvious discomfort, the greatest battle was in my head.  So many decisions to be made, how should I go about this war, what weapons should I use.  I had never been through anything like this before, so I think I just vacated the premises—I went into some kind of shock.  Thankfully my husband, family and friends would not let me stay there.  It was their concern and prayers that helped me back to my senses.  This battle requires all of you-- body, mind and spirit.


Through out some of this time I could not feel God’s presence, I so wanted to have great visions of Jesus leading me through the valley of the shadow of death, taking me to the still waters.  But, I felt abandoned and helpless.  Where are You?  I would question Him daily; why can’t I feel Your presence?  For a long time there was no reply. 


Finally I did hear His voice: “Don’t go by what you feel, go by what you know.”  At this point I didn’t have a clue as to what at knew.  Then I started to quote the word that I had hidden in my heart.  I know that God is for me.  I know God is my healer. I know that by His stripes I am healed……  On and on I’d repeat those life giving words.  I truly felt life return to my body.  They were like pints of blood being fed intravenously into my spirit so I could be revived and strengthened.   The word is not only a powerful weapon, but also an amazing tool.


The treatments began, I thought this was the end, but it was the beginning of a whole new kind of warfare.  It seemed like the thing that was there to cure you was actually killing you.  Did I make the wrong choice, should I have just trusted God alone, and not agreed to this radiation?  Doubt is another big weapon of satan.  Every doctor I saw had another sad tale, another negative diagnosis.  I swear they love to tell you bad news.  You have to know in Whom you believe and be totally persuaded that God is able to bring you through this battle—victoriously.


Fear kills faith and without faith it is impossible to please God.  Let the doctors speak; just don’t take it in your spirit.  When I go to the doctor’s office I cover myself in the Blood of Jesus, and rebuke any negative words spoken over my body.  It took me a while to do this, but after a few ugly battles you get the idea that you are only a target if you don’t take cover under the Blood of Jesus, and take refuge in the everlasting arms of God.


It’s been over eight months since my last radiation treatment; the burns have healed, and left no visible scars.  I had a scare in June, that required me to have another biopsy, but it was negative.  I knew what to do this time; I had my faith and senses exercised by reason of use.  I was no longer a coward, but a brave soldier in the army of the Lord, covered in battle scars, which I wear proudly as ribbons of honor.


I pray if you are going through health issues at this time.  If you are suffering with pain and it feels as if it will never end, I am here to say that there is an end, it’s just ahead, and you are closer to the finish than you know.  Don’t give up, trust in God, no matter what the enemy tries to attack you with, God’s weapons are undefeatable.  There is no pit so deep that God cannot reach into and pull you out and bring you to place of PEACE.


 All wars are won one battle at a time.  Our faith grows one trial at a time.  God is able to do abundantly above all we can ask or think.  During my journey through this battle I discovered this quote.  It helped me to understand that no matter what I feel, I must believe in what I know.  This quote was scratched into the wall of the basement of a Cathedral in Cologne where seven Jewish refuges were sheltered during World War II. 


I believe in the dawn, even though it be dark;

I believe in God, even though He be silent. 


I believe--AMEN



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